In yellow shoes I get the blues
Though I walk the streets with my plastic feet
With blue velvet trousers make me feel pink
There's a kind of stink about blue velvet trousers

In my paisley shirt I look a jerk
And my turquoise waistcoat is quite out of sight
But oh, oh, my haircut looks so bad…
Vegetable man! Where are you?

So I change my gear, and I bind my knees
And I cover them up with the latex cuts
And my pants and socks are bought in a box
It doesn't take long to buy nylon socks

The watch, black watch
My watch with a black face
And a date in a little hole
And all the lot
It's what I got
It's what I wear
It's what you see
It must be me
It's what I am!
Vegetable man! Where are you?

Ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah — oh!
I've been looking all over the place
For a place for me
But it ain't anywhere
It just ain't anywhere

Vegetable man, Vegetable man

He's the kind of fella you just gotta see if you can
Vegetable man